Beery1
Number of Movies: 20
Number of Winning Movies: 0
Average Rating Received: 2.71

Number of Movies Reviewed: 207
Number of Reviews Given that were Featured: 31
Average Rating Given: 3.4
 
Movies Released by Beery1
Racing Romance
This is my last crappy movie upload. I've made about 100,000VC in 12 hours. Is that right? Probably not. I did my part to try to stop it. Where were all the folks back then who are now complainin... posted December 20, 2005
Wiles Romance
No Description posted December 20, 2005
Kills Action
No Description posted December 20, 2005
Stolen Comedy
No Description posted December 20, 2005
Bomb Action
No Description posted December 20, 2005
Shed Comedy
No Description posted December 20, 2005
Leaves Romance
No Description posted December 20, 2005
Pressed Action
No Description posted December 19, 2005
Recycle Action
No Description posted December 19, 2005
Lurid Comedy
19 seconds of utter crap. Blame those who made it necessary to upload this sort of junk. posted December 19, 2005
Hogwash Comedy
Yup. Another ratings grab. 1-star reviews are appreciated. Ignoring the movie is appreciated more, as 1-star reviews actually gain VC points for this kind of trash. posted December 19, 2005
Wrong Arm Of The Law Comedy
This is no longer a protest. This is the best way to get propshop items, and I'm using it. One-star the film by all means, but don't blame me for the screwed-up system that encourages us to do this.... posted December 19, 2005
Outright Ratings Grab Romance
This is another movie that shows how ridiculous the VC system is. A 27 second 5-star movie (according to the in-game star system) that took me all of 5 minutes to make, and which takes up only 1/75th... posted December 19, 2005
Antface Horror
This movie was wholly AI-produced, and it gained me 6514 VC. This is an example of the horrible trash we're going to see on TMO thanks to the silly propshop points system. It has no sound because th... posted December 16, 2005
Weeber Comedy Not Rated
A horrible movie uploaded just to see how many points uploading a lame movie I spent no time on would get me (this bit of nonsense got me 100 points). Prepare to see many such films as Propshop rewar... posted December 16, 2005
Forbidden Passion Romance
This is a mood piece about sex, love and friendship. The story takes place in three acts, each one set to the same piece of music. The narration is done as subtitles because I felt a voiceover would... posted December 6, 2005
They Grow Not Old Action
A movie I've always wanted to make: The action takes place on the first day of Operation Michael (21st of March 1918) somewhere near the town of Peronne on the Somme river. I've spent ten years rese... posted November 27, 2005
Huntress Of Sol Sci-Fi
Another homage movie, this time I'm celebrating Ed Wood and '30s Saturday Matinees (yes, I know I'm mixing periods, but what the heck). In true Ed Wood style, there are plot holes you could drive a tr... posted November 25, 2005
The Spires of Marmitron Sci-Fi
I'm a sucker for Sci-Fi movies from the 1940s to '50s, so this is my homage to those films. This is my first attempt at writing, producing and directing a 'The Movies' film. It's short, but I hope I... posted November 24, 2005
The Spires of Marmitron Sci-Fi Not Rated
I'm a sucker for Sci-Fi movies from the 1940s and '50s, so this is my homage to those films. It's also my first attempt at writing, producing and directing one of these 'The Movies' films. Please le... posted November 24, 2005
 
Movies Reviewed by Beery1
Joes Christmas Wish by SirDrakeX Comedy
I liked the message, and I liked the dancing santa. Any movie that urges us to conserve and that forces Santa to dance at gunpoint gets 5 stars from me. reviewed December 22, 2005
King Kong 1941 (Act-Two) by StevenKreg Action
The best thing about this movie was the first sequence which was just a montage of voiceovers from the previous films. In the end I just wanted Kong to eat Ann Darrow and squash her annoying boyfrien... reviewed December 22, 2005
BEEEEEEEEER!! by Buccura Comedy
I like beer too, but a film has to have more than just a popular subject going for it. This film didn't even tell a story or develop a character. reviewed December 22, 2005
King Kong 1941 (Act-One) by StevenKreg Action
I don't see what all the hoopla is about. This appears to be an overly-hyped sequel to an overly-hyped movie. The pacing is off, the editing is poor, the voice acting is both stilted and over the to... reviewed December 22, 2005
Come On by FoDooG Comedy
There were a couple of good laughs in there, which is great for a comedy on TMO. But 16 minutes? I just felt it was about 8 minutes too long, and the pacing suffered because of it. I wish this had ... reviewed December 22, 2005
A Night with Jason and Dave by Ryan33 Comedy
A complete lack of motivation for the murder, no real plot, and three characters, all of whom were kinda unlikeable. This one just wasn't all that good, and I'm not sure where the comedy was supposed to be. reviewed December 21, 2005
The PropShoW by eric_maniac Comedy
Good! reviewed December 21, 2005
Cougar Juice Saves Christmas by Pulp Celluloid Comedy
You are BAD! Hehe, this one kept a smile on my face all the way through. I'm gonna bookmark this studio. I don't usually do that, because good movies are usually a flash in the pan, but this studio... reviewed December 20, 2005
Policemen Dont Have Balls by Pulp Celluloid Comedy
LOL. Okay, it was a cheap joke, but it made me laugh, which is more than I can say for most 'comedies' on TMO. reviewed December 20, 2005
Maintenance by Pulp Celluloid Horror
My goodness, what an effective story. No faulting this one. What a surprise, as I basically came upon this one by accident. Why don't these kinds of films get more recognition. Excellent work! Th... reviewed December 19, 2005
Truth About VC by rlgoodrich Action
Featured Review
Cranium says that if we didn't abuse the system, everything would be fine. The fact is, if the system was built properly, we wouldn't have any incentive to abuse it. We are not to blame for using th...
reviewed December 19, 2005
Apollyon by corinthian Horror
Pretty good, but no real 'creep-out' moments for me. I guess I'd have to know a bit more about the entity to be fully engaged. reviewed December 19, 2005
Ashley Porter in Operation Kringle by suedenim Action
Featured Review
Battle Robots of the Third Reich vs. Santa - Inspired lunacy. Ashley Porter is becoming The Movies most beloved character.
reviewed December 19, 2005
Iraqi Freedom by irishred Action
Good film, more evenhanded than most. But to be really unbiased we would need to see how the Iraqi's brother was killed. The lack of that makes it far more difficult to identify with the Iraqi becau... reviewed December 19, 2005
The Trial of Chico Reyes by Dylen Horror
Good movie, but I don't agree with the premise. It's too simplistic. 'Tomorrow the story ends', you say, but to say that is to say that the taking of a life cancels out the taking of a life. But tw... reviewed December 17, 2005
Santa Says Hello by slayter Comedy
Featured Review
LOL. Got to give you 5 stars for that. Genuinely funny!
reviewed December 17, 2005
VC Grab 2 by SirDrakeX Horror
We have to get LH to put a stop to this, so the more of these films that get high ratings, the more likely LH are to make Propshop items affordable. So 5 stars! reviewed December 16, 2005
The VC Grab by SirDrakeX Comedy
Featured Review
LH are about to find out that their propshop system is going to make TMO a joke. I happen to be one of the luckier ones, with 41,000 VC, most of which I got from a couple of fairly successful films, ...
reviewed December 16, 2005
SWG A Biography by gamedude15 Comedy
I am Bilca Lightstar, Master Musician on the Starsider server. I've played the game since launch. The CU was a blow to musicians, but the NGE was death for the entire game. I don't know what SOE wa... reviewed December 16, 2005
A Crime Called Murder 1 by ATLAS222 Action
Lost interest in the story less than half-way through. The music really didn't match what was going on in the film, and for an action film there wasn't much action - just a lot of scenes in offices a... reviewed December 15, 2005
WE STRIVINHOT MUSIC VIDEO by ATLAS222 Action
Featured Review
Another run-of-the-mill action movie. Nothing all that interesting to see here.
reviewed December 15, 2005
Poison Comedy and Telekenisis by JaredPeace Comedy
Featured Review
Absolutely horrible. Perhaps the worst movie I've ever seen on TMO. I'm not even sure where the comedy was to be found in this film. I assume the burps and farts had something to do with it, but I ...
reviewed December 15, 2005
ANIMAL by ATLAS222 Action
Featured Review
Overlong, tedious story (if I can call it a story, considering it doesn't have a middle or an end yet) with no character development and nonexistent editing. It's a sad commentary that this movie has...
reviewed December 14, 2005
Wolfman Vs The Mummy by predator21 Sci-Fi
Trailers never really do it for me, especially since they never seem to be followed by a movie. This one was no worse than most trailers. reviewed December 14, 2005
The Return by Aetherus Action
Very well edited. There were a couple of shots at the beginning that were cut too short, but that may have been due to the readymade cuts in the scene itself. Altogether a good film, though in terms... reviewed December 14, 2005
Cymbalism by stevostanley Action
A masterpiece! Getting the AI to direct this studio's pictures was an absolute masterstroke. Finally, someone with competence is producing movies here! reviewed December 12, 2005
The Grammar Police by Emotep Sci-Fi
I felt the illiterate in the cell should have been viciously tortured. Shooting him merely put him out of his misery. I feel, at the very least, a spelling test should have been administered before ... reviewed December 12, 2005
An Open Letter To Lionhead by justin_in_bangor Comedy
I completely agree with the subject of the rant. The bit about Lionhead issuing warnings to folks who respond to one-star bandits really hits home with me. I mean they don't touch the one-star bandi... reviewed December 12, 2005
Love Dont Cost a Thing by Rip_eazy-e Horror
I didn't like this movie at all. Painful to watch. It seemed like nothing but an excuse to set up a couple of violent scenes, and to have some fun with coarse language. I believe the film may have ... reviewed December 12, 2005
Cold Steele by FatherJames Action
Pretty good story, but there was one major continuity error when the sherrif is speaking to his informant (he switches positions at the bar), and a few editing flaws during the fight scenes. The film... reviewed December 12, 2005
The French Democracy by koulamata Action
Extremely simplistic in terms of the message, but basically this is just not a very well-made film. I'm not sure what all the hype surrounding this film is all about. The editing is bad, it's poorly... reviewed December 12, 2005
Danger of Making Movies by justin_in_bangor Comedy
I guess I was hoping for the same sort of inspired comedy of 'A Few of My Favourite Goofs'. This one doesn't quite have the originality or fun factor of that one for me, and I have to admit that fart... reviewed December 12, 2005
General Pattons Hippie Killer (Edit!) by UrinatingTree Horror
These 'hippies' don't even look like hippies, and half the time I couldn't understand what was being said due to the narrator's weird voice, and the subtitles didn't help. Maybe this is funny to peop... reviewed December 11, 2005
General Pattons Hippie Killer (Part Four!) by UrinatingTree Horror
Every second is worth it? This movie desperately needs radical editing. Two minutes in I was already bored stiff. Again, the premise is not funny, the one liners aren't funny, and the film is way t... reviewed December 11, 2005
KiRonalds! by UrinatingTree Comedy
I guess someone must find this stuff funny. It's not me. This is about as funny as a half hour with Carrot Top, but it seems to last longer. reviewed December 11, 2005
The Kielbasi Prince! by UrinatingTree Comedy
Blimey! What the heck was that about. Just an excuse to show some extreme violence. reviewed December 11, 2005
The Bird! by UrinatingTree Comedy
This got annoying REAL fast. Nothing to this movie. Not funny. Tedious. reviewed December 11, 2005
The Bird 2! by UrinatingTree Comedy
Yet another chicken movie. Yawn. reviewed December 11, 2005
Lust by satansmunchkin Romance
Featured Review
Tedious and overly melodramatic. I think the narrator needs to take some sort of antidepressant, stop listening to 'The Smiths' albums, and get over himself.
reviewed December 10, 2005
The Flagralons by TheMadElmo Action
The only film on TMO worse than this is Flagralons 2. reviewed December 10, 2005
Rot by Stevo78 Romance
Excellent movie well deserving of its place in the charts. reviewed December 9, 2005
Jack The Ripper Escapes by vader Horror
I liked the montage at the beginning of the film, but I'm afraid it falls apart after that. Others have noted the anachronisms: there's constant use of 20th Century words and phrases, and the police ... reviewed December 9, 2005
All Together Now by TheMadElmo Comedy
The saddest thing about this is that a random script generated by the AI makes more sense than the three later movies I've seen of yours that you made all by yourself. Still, I can't give the AI more... reviewed December 9, 2005
The Baggage Boys Revenge by kodenkabau Action
That's great! I loved it. reviewed December 9, 2005
Forbidden Love by blackcat35 Romance
This is beautiful in its badness. This has to go on my 'Ed Wood' movie award list. reviewed December 9, 2005
Suburban Werewolf by Backzlash Horror
There was a distinct lack of atmosphere, I didn't really feel anything for the characters, and basically this is the same story that every other werewolf movie on TMO tells. The editing was mostly go... reviewed December 8, 2005
Grocery Shopping by MoviesManiac Comedy
Terrible cutting and continuity errors plague the film. At one point a ninja is killed, but she somehow loses her hood as she falls down, which is confusing because the editing is so bad that you can... reviewed December 8, 2005
Trials of the Empire by Majicman182 Action
Horrible script, poor editing, a lack of pace, a story that's almost exactly the same as Ridley Scott's Gladiator but with far worse dialogue, and you managed to overuse of all the most cliched scenes... reviewed December 8, 2005
Trail of Funny Tears 2! (Trailer) by Majicman182 Comedy
Yeah, that was REAL funny. I'm not sure where you get the idea that being racist is comical, but this is yet another Majicman film that is insulting to all viewers. reviewed December 8, 2005
Eine Romanze by sarek13 Romance
Nice idea of a romance movie done with no voice and no subtitles. I think it would have worked a little better without the background noises, and with music throughout. Towards the end I felt the at... reviewed December 7, 2005
The Greatest Rant of All Time by jordanliles Comedy
Basically I feel I'm forced to review this for the quality of the rant itself, as there's not much else to rate. Basically, it seems that, on the one hand the author wants The Movies to give lots mor... reviewed December 7, 2005
A Few Of My Favorite Goofs by justin_in_bangor Comedy
This has just become my favourite movie! I hate seeing editing goofs, so this made me laugh out loud. If some folks would take this movie to heart we'd see a lot better films on this site. reviewed December 7, 2005
MOD Bingo! by Ithkaris1 Romance
Not bad for a 1931 film. Although the humour was very dark, I got a kick out of it. reviewed December 6, 2005
Am Ende der Distanz by Meowan Romance
Excellent. reviewed December 6, 2005
Ashley Porter and the Deaths Head Legion by suedenim Action
Featured Review
Dragged a bit towards the middle, but from about half-way through I was hooked. The story was as good as some Hollywood 'B' Movies, so since you're going for that 'B' movie feel, I think that's a gre...
reviewed December 5, 2005
Night Of The Wolf by crinesmith Horror
Some genuinely scary moments in this horror film. I enjoyed this very much. Keep it up! reviewed December 5, 2005
Curse Of The Wolf by crinesmith Horror
Well, it seems there's something weird going on here with the reviews, because I really liked this film. I didn't think the rooms needed to be darker (how dark could a couple's hotel room possibly be... reviewed December 5, 2005
Short Cut by JackGravestone Action
'It's not over' is for horror movies, not serious drama. Why does almost every knife fight end in the bad guy getting killed twice or even three times? Also, where was the end of the story? The bad... reviewed December 4, 2005
Plutonium Assassination by BRwinner5 Sci-Fi
Difficult to follow. No clear main character. Pacing was uneven in places. reviewed December 4, 2005
Tallahassee Smith and the Lost Idol by Ace_24 Action
In my view this film is way, way, way too long. The instant-cutting back and forth in the final battle is innovative, but it doesn't quite work - it may need fades to work. The storyline is good, bu... reviewed December 4, 2005
Revelation Apocalypse by FatherJames Action
A few minutes too long, this movie drags a bit. If a movie has to discuss finding toilet paper and plumbing issues, and if the hero's entire wedding vows are included (yes, believe it or not!), you k... reviewed December 4, 2005
The Costello family - Bad for Business by HenrikE81 Action
Fairly good gangster movie, I feel it's a few minutes too long. I've reviewed this film before, and it still suffers from some of the problems it had when it was previously released. It is better ed... reviewed December 4, 2005
MySpace Robot by JackGravestone Comedy
Not very funny. All that just for a lame fart joke. reviewed December 4, 2005
Deadly Charm by BRwinner5 Action
Seems like another movie that's just an excuse to have fights and kill folks. Somewhat pointless, and only the names are funny. reviewed December 4, 2005
The Witness by DoseOfOwnage Action
Pretty good set-up. Falls a bit flat towards the end though. reviewed December 4, 2005
Hotel Hell by laycee Horror
No idea what the film was about. Sound or subtitles needed. Can't rate this higher in this state because I've no idea what's going on. By the way, the mask being on the woman makes no sense because... reviewed December 4, 2005
Bum tales by lilitalygarbler Action
Featured Review
Not sure how a guy can be stabbed twice with a massive Bowie knife in the gut and chest and then carry a woman over his shoulder. The zombie bit was completely unexpected and sort of strange. The be...
reviewed December 4, 2005
Adventures of Private Ryan by Tasis Action
Interesting video game spoof. reviewed December 4, 2005
Subway 2 by Sleeves Romance
Featured Review
Great atmosphere and a nice complex story. Can't fault this one.
reviewed December 4, 2005
The Blood Chronicles by King_Moonracer Sci-Fi
Some poor editing (when the guy is knocked down, then suddenly he's running), but I liked how the film cuts between the dancer and the fight. reviewed December 4, 2005
The Cellmate by LuciusVorenus Sci-Fi
Pretty good I thought. reviewed December 4, 2005
Lecturers at war againbb by ajw2255 Comedy
This one has almost exactly the same problems as the first 'Lecturers' movie. reviewed December 4, 2005
The Cost Of Freedom - The Directors Cut by justin_in_bangor Action
I liked the first one (I gave it 4 stars), but somehow this one was way too soupy and over the top. I felt the added pregnant woman (I don't recall her from the original) was too stereotypical and in... reviewed December 4, 2005
The Making Of Headmade Planets final by FoDooG Comedy
I don't much like slapstick comedies, but this one was pretty good. reviewed December 4, 2005
Pandemic 1 by zeeto Action
Interesting story. Not sure why some rate it so low. The editing problems were actually very few (only one really noticeable one), and it had an engaging story and a cliffhanger that actually made m... reviewed December 4, 2005
Six by robbieh Action
Seemed better than the average Western, but at 17 minutes it was way, way too long for me. I got bored a third of the way through, and I just lost interest in Tom 'The Sixrounder'. I fast-forwarded ... reviewed December 4, 2005
Remember the Future by RoN_Rancor Sci-Fi
Intelligent plot, well-paced. Some technical issues with editing, but nothing too noticeable. reviewed December 4, 2005
The Lone Gunner by Dazza99 Action
Featured Review
The only town in the West where everyone knows about a bank robbery the day before it happens. Also, some female characters appear in modern clothes. Editing so bad that bullets routinely take 3 sec...
reviewed December 4, 2005
Gorilla in the Mist 2 by LuciusVorenus Comedy
The gorilla/man love scene was lacking in emotional content. I felt the actors playing the man and the gorilla didn't share a real bond - there was no chemistry onscreen. I just couldn't see these t... reviewed December 4, 2005
Das Trio-Der Erste Versuch by philnate Comedy
The grey car turning orange and then back to grey was a bit odd. Strange edits made this movie very difficult to watch, and the final fight scene didn't make much sense because of this. reviewed December 4, 2005
All the worlds a stage - - Shakespeare by levilewis Comedy
I enjoyed the voiceover because of the interesting accent, but in answer to your question this film would work as well (perhaps better with good music) with subtitles. I felt some edits were a little... reviewed December 4, 2005
12 (Episode 2) by gemtaur Action
I must admit I don't watch 24, so maybe I'm missing some in-jokes or cultural references. Anyway, the movie was good, with an interesting story. I felt it needed a little tighter editing and pacing ... reviewed December 4, 2005
You Want 5 Stars I Got 5 Stars by richke Comedy
Good film, but like Glynner said I felt a bit like an outsider looking in, and the rant was a bit too depressing and not humourous enough. A couple of pacing/editing issues, but nothing too serious. reviewed December 4, 2005
Bonnie and Clyde by samurai_yakuza Action
As a historical movie it's woefully inaccurate. Bonnie and Clyde were gunned down while stopping to help a friend who they thought had car trouble. If this was merely a bank heist film, and not a hi... reviewed December 4, 2005
The Mac 2000 (Space Age Pimppin)sample by HuffCity Comedy
Fantastic voiceover work, but some of the voices seemed to go missing in the middle there, which is basically what knocked off a star, so if you fixed that you'd have a 4-star movie right there. It w... reviewed December 4, 2005
Forward Comrade! by Majicman182 Comedy
This time the communists are the butt of the joke in the latest escapade from this studio. Sorry, but I really just don't find these things funny. Russians aren't inherently stupid. They just aren'... reviewed December 4, 2005
Scar Wars A New Soap- Trailer by MoviesManiac Comedy
No story. No humour that I could see. Simple as that. Write a story, make it genuinely funny (or interesting), and you'll get my attention. This is just another trailer that lacks everything I'm e... reviewed December 3, 2005
Bad Day by castlenaze Comedy
This review may be a bit unfair, as I was somewhat negatively affected by the laugh track (one of my wife's best friends - only 22 years old - was just killed last weekend while crossing the street, s... reviewed December 3, 2005
Quiz on the road by Robix Comedy
I waited five minutes for a bad joke? Also, what was the horse doing there in the final scene? Sloppy editing, and in my opinion just not worth the punchline. reviewed December 3, 2005
What Went Wrong by markrichardbehenna Romance
Good pacing, but I think too much exposition. I empathise with the character to a great degree, but as a person who had very similar experiences to the character you portray in the movie, and who now... reviewed December 3, 2005
John Corder - True Crime New York by Bonn_Coorp Action
Whenever I see a shotgun in the image for a movie I prepare myself for another lame action flick. This one was (as usual) way too long. The plot was predictable. Towards the end there was a horse w... reviewed December 3, 2005
The Beast Within by riksmiff Action
Featured Review
Longest movie I've ever reviewed on TMO, and one of the best. You really proved to me that one of these movies can be long and still hold the viewer's attention. The voiceovers were the only weak po...
reviewed December 3, 2005
Welcome Home B side by animeabe Horror
Very good story. One of the best horror movies on TMO. A bit slow in parts, but the story was worth it. reviewed December 3, 2005
Largo Sin by lilitalygarbler Action
I couldn't tell if the accent was supposed to be from Minnesotan, North Dakotan or Irish, and I'm not sure even the moviemaker knew where this one was going. Also, accents alone don't make comedy. reviewed December 3, 2005
My Dad was a Middle-Aged Zombie Part 1 by Gnostradamus Horror
"Just what the doctor ordered" - nice! It was a little slow, but I appreciated the use of some scenes I haven't seen before: the photo shoot at the beach was great. Looking forward to part 2. reviewed December 3, 2005
In Gods Country by gemtaur Action
I must agree with some of the other reviewers - we've seen this same story twenty or thirty times now. There's nothing wrong with a simple story - even a tired and hackneyed one, as long as you find ... reviewed December 3, 2005
The Video Game by lestatslover Horror
The music didn't really match the film very well. It's a nice idea, but the pacing was a bit slow. reviewed December 3, 2005
Hello Mr Nightmare by Buccura Horror
Nice use of fog and music to enhance the dream sequence. The 'pact' sequence suffered from breaking the '180' rule, and the reason for Mr. Nightmare being there was not fully fleshed out. But it's a... reviewed December 3, 2005
The Jungle by playful_cpl2029 Action
Editing was poor, weak storyline, poor pacing. reviewed December 3, 2005
The Day I Turned Into a Dame by suedenim Comedy
Pretty good! reviewed December 3, 2005
The Slaughtering Fields by Majicman182 Action
What would have made a good story is marred by bad editing and poor pacing. This shows promise, but it needs more work. reviewed December 3, 2005
Trail of funny tears! by Majicman182 Action
A forgettable storyline, some insulting (to everyone) racial stereotyping, bad voiceovers, and some nice visuals and reasonable editing conspire to make this movie just one drop in the overwhelmingly ... reviewed December 3, 2005
Black to the planet of the Apes! by Majicman182 Sci-Fi
I watched all the way through. Parody has to be funny to work. Merely saying that you don't take kindly to racism doesn't make your film non-racist. Anyway, my rating is purely based on the content... reviewed December 3, 2005
Nosferatu by Yogurt_King Horror
Great reproduction of a 1920s vampire movie. The only thing I disliked was the size of the text used: I felt it was too big. Still, 5 stars. reviewed December 3, 2005
All Hail to the Chief Directors Cut by Kaenash88 Comedy
Featured Review
Good story, good edits. A bit short - I would have liked to have seen a 7 minute movie of this sort, but I guess we can't have everything.
reviewed December 3, 2005
The Eye of the Constants by RazrBlade Sci-Fi
An entirely predictable plot. I'd say about 50% of all movies on this site follow this same plot. There were very few cutaways or close cuts, and almost all the characters wore masks throughout, whi... reviewed December 3, 2005
Hybrid Theory by thejester005 Action
The storyline was a bit confused - for example, why did he need to take the woman with him? The editing was a bit lax, and there was no real thought given to the establishing shots, cutaways or close... reviewed December 3, 2005
Time Traveling Tex by SmonG Sci-Fi
Featured Review
The film itself was not badly made, technically speaking. It's just that the story didn't seem to make much sense, there was no characterization, and it didn't have an ending. There's just not that ...
reviewed December 2, 2005
LoneSam 4 - Opened all Friday by Patarival Action
Very slow moving, too much exposition and some script problems (as others have pointed out). reviewed December 2, 2005
Family of the Future by SmonG Comedy
Featured Review
A funny skit, kinda like one of those 1950s "Tomorrow's World" features. I felt the movie was a bit slow-paced even though it was only three minutes long, but it was a good film overall.
reviewed December 2, 2005
Letting Go by sparrowtm Romance
What can I say. Absolutely beautiful. reviewed December 2, 2005
Shamus OMalley USMarshall by wecky Action
Featured Review
Much better than Mafia Cowboy. This one has good pacing and I'm starting to like Seamus O'Malley as a character.
reviewed December 2, 2005
Torn Asunder by RealBoatsRock Action
The pacing was a bit slow, and some scenes needed tighter editing. I didn't mind the horse as much as some reviewers did - they did have horses in WW2 after all. With a bit more practice in the edit... reviewed December 2, 2005
Rob Fights Back by Jonkerz Comedy
I liked it. I felt it could be a bit tighter in terms of pacing, but the jokes were funny and you got the right tone overall. Rob deserves a sequel where he gets the girl. reviewed December 2, 2005
Artemis by eriktirto Romance
This is the first movie I've seen where the visuals had virtually no connection with the subtitles. There was a story here, but the subtitles (or the visuals) seemed to go off on a tangent at various... reviewed December 2, 2005
Dame Set And Match by ShawnJC Romance
Fart jokes killed this one for me. But at best this one was gonna be a 3-star movie anyway. No plot, just an excuse for fart and burp jokes, and not even funny ones. Adequate structure and editing ... reviewed December 2, 2005
Drunken Dream by JackGravestone Comedy
Major continuity error - one minute he's driving a sedan, but when he stops the car he's in a convertible. The film was a bit long for the story it was telling, and there were some technical flaws, l... reviewed December 2, 2005
Driving Miss Dayzee by marvellousguppimovies Comedy
Featured Review
Great story and some genuinely funny jokes. You have a real talent for story and humour. there were a couple of technical faults - the 180 rule was broken in a couple of places, and I think there we...
reviewed December 2, 2005
Hoot The Cowboy by eddyryan Comedy
Excellent! One flaw was when he looked to find the horse again, probably the horse 'cutaway' shot should have come before the shot with him saying "That's what I like to see". But it's only one flaw... reviewed December 2, 2005
Promo for Drunk Girl the Movie by Radedge Comedy
Best voice acting done by a male for a female character I've ever heard! Most movies use a falsetto voice which just sounds wrong. You simply took your voice to a higher tone, which works well. The... reviewed December 2, 2005
The Last Dragon by capemedia Action
Better than most action films on this site. Unfortunately most are very bad indeed. There was a storyline that made sense, but the movie dragged in places. Sloppy editing and some jump cuts made th... reviewed December 2, 2005
Back home by Dazza99 Sci-Fi
I was a bit confused when first watching this because the subtitle that tells where he came from was on the screen for less than a second and I completely missed it. This film could have been a bit t... reviewed December 2, 2005
A Family Affair (abridged) by richegroover Action
Sloppy editing, odd music selections (in places) and some jump cuts made this movie a hard one to follow. With a bit more time spent in the planning stage, and more focus on tight editing and techniq... reviewed December 2, 2005
Death by everything by MajorMatt2006 Action
Another forgettable film with yet another "It's not over yet" scene in it. reviewed December 1, 2005
Jack Maverick - The escape by Bonn_Coorp Action
If I see "It ain't over yet" one more time, I'm gonna puke. reviewed December 1, 2005
White Guy Meets Black Guy 2 by Oneplusoneisfive Action
Not as good as the first I'm afraid. These guys look and sound more like Beavis and Butt-head in this one. reviewed December 1, 2005
Subway by Swazi Action
I had no idea what this film was about, other than that it takes place on a subway and someone gets killed for money. It had style, but I didn't understand the story at all. reviewed December 1, 2005
The Fateful Meeting by PLTucker Action
It was an okay movie. I couldn't get that interested though. Seemed a pretty standard bank robbery story. Maybe I'm getting jaded after 50+ reviews. reviewed December 1, 2005
Help Desk01 by Phoenix_Stryfe Comedy
This movie was okay, but I don't get the joke. reviewed December 1, 2005
What if lecturers were Soldiers by ajw2255 Comedy
Funniest line in the movie: "Oh know a dead body". Hmm, I wondered if he meant that in the biblical sense. I wasn't quite sure where the movie was headed at that point - I must admit I'm not much in... reviewed December 1, 2005
A Disturbing PaStPT 1 by lilitalygarbler Action
Another psycho movie that's just an excuse to show some murder scenes. No plot, just a whiny kid, a sniper scene and a bathtub drowning. Seen it too many times before, so without a plot, I just don'... reviewed December 1, 2005
Crossed Lines by Ferrellj Action
Featured Review
Another case of a guy who shoots someone but "forgets to make sure she's dead". I don't buy it - any real killer would put two bullets in the head (especially when the victim is wearing body armour a...
reviewed December 1, 2005
The Blue and The Red II Final Edition by northmeister Action
Oh, I really hope I'm not going to have to review too many more movies over 8 minutes. There's a limit to how much a reviewer can stand. This one has too much exposition at first: I felt I was being... reviewed December 1, 2005
The Costello family - Bad for business by HenrikE81 Action
I really think The Movies can't sustain a movie over 8 minutes long, and this illustrates that. I must admit I've seen far too many Mafia/crime movies recently, and I'm just no longer impressed by sl... reviewed December 1, 2005
Storm Brigade Zero Operative by Achatius Sci-Fi
I got bored half-way through. Too many plot holes (e.g. where does an escaped prisoner find a field telephone just lying around?). We've seen this story too many times, and this one was about 3 minu... reviewed December 1, 2005
i dont mind by FoDooG Romance
Technically great, but I felt the choice of music severely hampered this film. I waited for the singer to stop whining, but he never did, and why must he pronounce the word 'matter' as if it's 'methe... reviewed December 1, 2005
The Expendables by Hemingway Action
Editing could have been a bit tighter, the movie was the longest I've seen, and I'm not sure an animated film using only The Movies tools can sustain itself for nearly 15 minutes, but this is a good e... reviewed December 1, 2005
The Cost Of Freedom by justin_in_bangor Action
Simple, but good war movie. I wish the game had more vehicles, and sets that look more like the Middle East - that was the main thing I felt was lacking in this film. reviewed December 1, 2005
Captain Zap IN EXILE! by Hobe_OJoos Comedy
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i nearly laughed at one point, but I didn't. As a comedy it fails almost completely. Hemmorhoid jokes and grab-ass jokes are kinda lame. As sci-fi it just doesn't have enough of a story. I have to...
reviewed December 1, 2005
This is what happens when youre bored by whydoyouwanttoknow Comedy
Featured Review
Huh-huh. Hey Beavis, we saw nearly naked people. Hmm-heh. Yeah. Hmh. It ruled!
reviewed December 1, 2005
Flagralons 2 Capture of the Intrepid by TheMadElmo Sci-Fi
Hmm. An alien wanders about talking to himself for 2 minutes. He gets aboard a ship (we don't see how). He finds no crew aboard (we don't know why). We never see anyone else but this alien guy. i... reviewed December 1, 2005
No Where To Go But Home Pt 2 by richke Horror
Hmmm. Technical problems don't bother me too much, but... Two guys in a cabin in the woods report a beaten up woman who dies at the scene before the police arrive, and the police don't even take the... reviewed December 1, 2005
My Trip Through The Movies - LV by richke Comedy
Comical, but I felt the pacing and structure were a bit off. At nearly 9 minutes it's very long for a comedy too. reviewed December 1, 2005
The Truce of 1914 by augie64 Action
Nice film about the Christmas Truce. A couple of authenticity issues: British soldiers in 1914 wore the Service Dress Cap (the soft peaked cap with a stiff top). Also, probably the best rifle to sim... reviewed December 1, 2005
Honor and Glory by CowBear Action
Nice war movie - I'm a sucker for WWI films (I made one too - check it out at http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/14986 if you're interested - there aren't many WWI films about), so you get an extra star... reviewed December 1, 2005
Foreigner by Tarison Sci-Fi
Good sci=fi film. I loved the alien idea! Reminded me of Forbidden Planet. reviewed December 1, 2005
It Came From Uranus by Phoenix_Stryfe Sci-Fi
I nearly fell asleep. I guess gay comedy doesn't really seem all that funny to me (actually I wasn't aware that gay comedy even existed). The standard alien anal probe / cattle mutilation schtick wo... reviewed December 1, 2005
The Last War by Kesti Sci-Fi
I liked it a lot. An intriguing look at things from an alien standpoint. reviewed December 1, 2005
Lifestyle Rock by NoBigThing Comedy
Not bad. I wish there was a bit more to it. reviewed December 1, 2005
12 by gemtaur Action
Not bad. Not really a parody though, and I hate teasers - just show me the movie already. reviewed December 1, 2005
Mafia Cowboy by wecky Action
Very good voice acting, but it needs a bit of work tightening up the film editorially and in terms of pace. reviewed December 1, 2005
Dutch Courage by randombutter Action
More than anything else, the grammar lets you down on this one. The story was a bit of a downer too. As others have said, there's potential here, but at some points the English just made no sense an... reviewed December 1, 2005
Saved by the smoke by Aphroditestudio Sci-Fi
Quirky, but it didn't quite do it for me, and for some reason enormous breasts on female characters make me feel nauseous. reviewed December 1, 2005
Left to Die Pt 1 - The Betrayal by upsidedown2 Action
Pretty good film overall, but for me it was a bit too long. reviewed December 1, 2005
Adam-12 The Movie by RuleTech Action
Pretty good film. Some minor flaws as others have said, but I enjoyed it. reviewed December 1, 2005
VTZ The Letter by King_Moonracer Sci-Fi
Very good indeed. One of the better movies on the site. thanks. reviewed November 30, 2005
Sandwich Bar - PP by RockOutStudios Comedy
Pretty zany. Not really my cup of tea, but it was mostly funny. reviewed November 30, 2005
Evil City - We need a hero! by Bonn_Coorp Comedy
"The star of all women"? Hmm. No story, no point. Sorry, but I hated this. reviewed November 30, 2005
Zombie Forest part dos by willsteward Action
Featured Review
I hate zombie flicks, but this one isn't bad. What the heck, I'll give 4 stars for it.
reviewed November 30, 2005
The System Is Down by Ace_24 Comedy
I must admit I didn't get it. Maybe there's an in-joke there or a cultural message I'm missing, but this seemed like a pointless couple of minutes to me, and the fight at the end was over the top. T... reviewed November 30, 2005
Plague The Beginning by herr_lipp Horror
Not bad at all. I liked this one - good explanation of how the zombies got started. reviewed November 30, 2005
Death and Honor by John_wayne90 Action
Cop dramas are ten a penny, but this one was pretty good. Continuity errors and some sloppy editing take away a star though. reviewed November 30, 2005
West East and Here by camarat Action
Mercifully short, which is the only reason it gets more than one star. There's no reason to upload a movie like this. I want my minute and two seconds back. reviewed November 30, 2005
Grigori by Rennstar Action
Pacing a little off, but it was an interesting story. reviewed November 30, 2005
A Life of No Choices by Druidblue Action
Very good indeed! Nice ending. Only one flaw that I can see - people who are shot tend not to be able to do much afterwards, so the car chase seemed a bit of a stretch. But it's a minor quibble. reviewed November 30, 2005
Kung Fu Jesus Meets Munchon Carpet by thejesus Action
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I loved it. I haven't seen the other kung-Fu Jesus films, but I'll be sure to look 'em up.
reviewed November 30, 2005
Cyberphunk - The fourthcoming by sparrowtm Sci-Fi
Pretty good. I wish it was a story in itself as well as being part of a larger whole. reviewed November 30, 2005
johnny boltcutter 2 by movieman1085 Action
This movie is just a reason to show people fighting. There is no plot. Someone starts a row with his girlfriend, they start fighting. A woman hears them and decides that her response will be to sho... reviewed November 30, 2005
Gay Ninjas of San Francisco by novotny Action
Not bad, but some of the editing was a bit weird, like the part where the clown fell out of the window. Don't know why they had to be ninjas, or why Jeff Gannon had to be a clown. Colourful I guess,... reviewed November 30, 2005
It Could Be You by tripmills Horror
Guy who's a chicken goes on a killing spree because he's bored. Kills his wife three times - haven't seen that before. Don't want to see it again either. Tedious horror flick with no point. One st... reviewed November 30, 2005
The Backdoor Bandit by doctorfun Romance
Well, not much in this movie made sense. Yet another action movie - seems like the 7,563rd I've reviewed this week. Yet again, we have numerous situations where characters fail to shoot when they ha... reviewed November 30, 2005
Take the Money and Run by rlgoodrich Action
In about three quarters of the action movies I see, these ruthless professional killers have their victim in their sights and they always agree to a fistfight? What is it with these guys? You had me... reviewed November 30, 2005
White Guy Meets Black Guy! by Oneplusoneisfive Action
Pretty good, but the stereotypes and racism are a bit annoying because they seem a bit tacked-on. reviewed November 30, 2005
Runaway Incident by PenwithPictures Action
Technically good, but I dunno, it just struck me as a bit misogynistic. I have to knock off a star for adding women when there was no real need to add women except to make a bad joke at their expense. reviewed November 30, 2005
Plague Genocide by herr_lipp Horror
At many points I was groaning along with the zombies. maybe I just don't appreciate zombie movies as much as most folks. Technically the movie was good, but I felt it didn't tell much of a story - j... reviewed November 30, 2005
Lord of Berlin by Patriot84 Action
I'm afraid I think this is probably one of the most overrated movies in the top 25. It's about 7 minutes too long, and the storyline is a bit suspect. plus, how many times is this guy at death's doo... reviewed November 30, 2005
Confessions Of A Supreme Being by Strondor Comedy
Strangely enough, I agree with the "worst movie in the top 25" comment (well, there are worse movies by folks who get their friends to 5-star them upon release), but I kinda liked the movie anyway. reviewed November 30, 2005
Hitman by Stustar Action
Honestly not as bad as I thought it would be. "Yawn", I thought, "this site's 6,543rd hitman movie". The beginning was well done, but it kinda lost its way towards the end, and there wasn't enough i... reviewed November 30, 2005
Jack Insane 2 - Open War by Tuppe Action
The action movie genre is a little too popular, so we see a lot of the same plot, which is a little tiring. For a movie to stand out in this genre it has to be very good indeed, but if it has problem... reviewed November 30, 2005
Earl of Sandwich by SpaceYoru Comedy
Featured Review
Great movie. Probably the best I've seen so far. At 9 minutes I was worried that it wouldn't hold my attention, but it kept up a nice pace, and a good storyline with great voice acting kept me watch...
reviewed November 30, 2005
I Did It My Way by Bobaninho Action
Like Castlenaze I was skeptical at first, but you pulled it off. Great movie! I loved this one. reviewed November 30, 2005
World War 2 The Alien Beachhead by whydoyouwanttoknow Sci-Fi
Featured Review
Nicely done. I agree it's a bit cheesy - Aliens in WW2 - sounds like one of those movie pitches in 'The Player'. But an enjoyable romp. hehe, now I have to see the other two.
reviewed November 29, 2005
One Star Bandit by Sevenhertz Comedy
Awesome!!! Just awesome. reviewed November 29, 2005
Sparky the Robot Episode 1 by IamTheMoo Comedy
Jeez! Some of these reviewers are really uptight. I'm as anti-bad language as anyone. But there's nothing wrong with bad language if it belongs in the tone of the film, and in this film it belongs. reviewed November 28, 2005
Helios by markrichardbehenna Sci-Fi
Very good indeed. An excellent story well told. reviewed November 28, 2005
Liaison by Alien_Nation_Studios Romance
Featured Review
Man! I loved this movie. Heck, I've never seen such an interesting movie made about such an apparently mundane subject. It really held my interest better than some action movies. Thanks for showin...
reviewed November 28, 2005
One-Star Wonderman! by momicajack Comedy
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Man, that one HAS to get 5 stars from me. That's almost exactly how I see those one-star guys. Well, maybe they're not quite old enough to have their own money to spend, but still...
reviewed November 27, 2005
The Dead Place by Drexx Horror
Excellent stuff. I love anything that has Twilight Zone connections, and this is great. Very atmospheric. reviewed November 26, 2005
Gatormen From Planet-X by Drexx Sci-Fi
I liked it. It held my interest right to the end, and the story made sense, which is more than can be said for most movies I see. Well done! reviewed November 26, 2005
Rooftop by thejesus Action
Well, modern thrillers don't usually do anything for me, but this one is a cut above. I was surprised that it held my attention, but it did. Glad to have found this little gem, especially when good ... reviewed November 26, 2005
A Schmans Life 3 by Happy_Schman Romance
I prefer subtitles, so don't worry about the lack of VO. :) reviewed November 26, 2005
DASHWOOD FOX TRAILER 1 by AmmarStudios Action
Excellent stuff. reviewed November 26, 2005
Dashwood Fox Trailer 2 by AmmarStudios Action
Nicely done. Short, but it gets the message across. reviewed November 26, 2005
Dashwood Fox Trailer 3 by AmmarStudios Action
Featured Review
Excellent, especially the voice synch at the start. I liked the fast pace too.
reviewed November 26, 2005
Risen by matneee Horror
Effective and genuinely scary movie. Excellent work. reviewed November 26, 2005
Assignment 2 by SirDrakeX Horror
Whenever I see a one-star review I always like to give 5 stars to balance out the unfair review (no movie deserves one star). I'm not asking for a review for a review, but please look at my movies at... reviewed November 26, 2005
Assignment by SirDrakeX Horror
Whenever I see a one-star review I always like to give 5 stars to balance out the unfair review (no movie deserves one star). reviewed November 26, 2005
The Diner by SirDrakeX Comedy
Whenever I see a one-star review I always like to give 5 stars to balance out the unfair review (no movie deserves one star). reviewed November 26, 2005
KING KONG 1940 by StevenKreg Action
Great! The way you mixed live action footage using miniatures with backdrop images of Kong was perfect. You really achieved the effect of the 1930s movie. reviewed November 26, 2005
G.U.N.S. by Little_Wings Action
I liked it. Like another reviewer says, it had no talking and no real story, but it had some cool scenes and it was nice and short, and I've been clicking on some horribly long movies recently, so th... reviewed November 26, 2005
Just a Random Story by augie64 Romance
Featured Review
Excellent movie. Very mellow and relaxing, with a simple story well told.
reviewed November 26, 2005
The One Star Ninja Scandal by augie64 Comedy
Whenever I see a one-star review I always like to give 5 stars to balance out the unfair review (no movie deserves one star), but The One Star Ninja Scandal really deserves 5 stars, so I wish I could ... reviewed November 26, 2005
The Fourth Moon Pt 1 by weyna Sci-Fi
Whenever I see a one-star review I always like to give 5 stars to balance out the unfair review (no movie deserves one star), but The Fourth Moon really deserves 5 stars so, as with Bad Bad Leroy, I w... reviewed November 26, 2005
Bad Bad Leroy- The Setup by weyna Action
Whenever I see a one-star review I always like to give 5 stars to balance out the unfair review (no movie deserves one star), but this film really deserves 5 stars, so I wish I could post more stars. ... reviewed November 26, 2005
Scholastic Films Intelligent Design by DeusExMachinima Comedy
This movie certainly deserves the number 1 spot. Excellent work throughout! reviewed November 25, 2005
The Downfall of Glortak by mupchurch Sci-Fi
Featured Review
Very funny! I love movies like this - just plain good old fashioned silliness.
reviewed November 25, 2005
Piddels and Mayhem Save the Universe by rawvoodoo Sci-Fi
Featured Review
I loved this movie! Just the right length, nicely paced and with a good sense of humour.
reviewed November 25, 2005