- Satansmunchkin

Leviticus

The Idea: 6 - Wow, did you try to think of the most childish movie ever?! This promised Stephen King but it delivered Point Horror, your grasp on what a scary idea is is something akin to the governments grasp on what the youth of today finds important. That said you managed to make the best of a bad situation.

Originality: 2 - Quite frankly I have seen more original remakes, a horror movie about ghosts ... yikes never saw that one coming. To top it off you added the stereotypical "twist" and psycho manouver that had all the grace of a hippo ballet dancing and the subtlty of a large brick through a 13th century stain glass window. Perhaps when you have come up with an original way to scare people you can rest on your laurels, but this was quite honestly the most blatently plagerised pile of steaming crud that i have laid eyes on, but alas by the standards of TMO, which to be honest would mean a toddler stood a good chance of getting onto the charts and makes Charlton Heston look like a movie making god (no pun intended) I sadly have to give this above average for the originality factor, it pains me greatly to say this however and I would sooner eat my own fingers to stop this happeneing, but sadly i can't find my pen knife or my whisky...

Script: 0 - Is it possible to go one day without seeing a TMO movie that is so over the top and special effects orientated so as to completely remove any sembelance of a story from the script, I mean this was a reasonable attempt at a story, but the fact it could have been compressed into a 30 second infomertial inbetween a Durex and a Kleenex advert at midnight on one of those live chat phone in channels, probably the one with the big hairy russian woman who looks more liks she crawlled out of a cave after wrestlling a bear for a body and winning than was born naturally. If you are going to set the scene then for the love of all B movie horrors set it properly, man meet girl, yadayadayada, man is suddenly in love with girl and living with her after 3 months, all of this because he asked her for coffee?! I mean get real, life aint like that, it'd take the guy atleast 6 months to go through his house with a magnifying glass, U.V. lamp and some cleaning fluid to make sure there were no "surprises" for the prospective woman... The connection between the character and the viewer was something akin to that of a tea bag and it's knowledge of the east india comapany. If you're after a movie with some deep and meaningful message
or even one with the content of a Mr Men book then you're in the wrong place, but alas it does it's job when it comes to filling up space ...


Dialogue:-4 - To call it dialogue would be calling a neandertal man a genius ... There was something there, i'm sure of it there was definatley a buzzing noise all the way through the movie, but I really am at a loss as to what it was all about ... ... try making the voice overs a bit louder, my translator bat was straining to hear and then I had to replace it after a sudden loud noise caused its head to jar back so severely that it fell off rolled out the door and was picked up by next doors cat, which promptly spat it out because it had been sullied by this movie.

Language: 0 - Well when i finally got the translation off my bat, the way it read would have made Tolkein stir in his grave, get out of hit, and come bearing down on you with a hatchet shouting "never write again you ungratful little brat, you have sullied the English languish with your blatent disregard for any sense of content" ... At which point he'd be pushed out of the way by a blind leaper also claiming he could have done a better job, to say that the content was appauling would be an overstatement, but to say it was good would just be a lie, so all in all, it was reasonable to the degree of being very very average, mind you even average would try to run at the sight of this gargantuan pile of .

Music: -1 - Wait a minute, I got so lost in my search for that Venga Boys song that came out seven years ago that i totally forgot to listen out for the music in this movie, but hell going on the past marks i can only assume it was far too loud for the movie, in what must have been the editors last gasp attempt to disguise the uninspired voice acting, the resulting cacophony has was something remarkably like a cross between a Banshee and a lost soul tearing itself apart when offered an audience with Tony Blair.

Directing: 8 - I am of the firm belief that you went out to get some lunch, came back and the Janitor had made the movie, in your blind rage over how bad a job he had done you accidentally threw a pencil which lodged in the lead actors neck rendering him slightly dead, thus meaning the copy you had to use was made by a janitor with a wooden leg, and a sing song voice that no matter what it is saying is remembered as "16 men on the dead mans chest, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum" ... Thus due to the fact this is a work of the Janitor, I have to say, he did a good job, some what better than what you would have achieved had you been able to shoot the movie, mainly because his choice of scenes and actors put yours to shame, I mean seriously, Tom Hanks as a brain dead retarded Zombie?! Geez talk about type casting the man, just let him forget the movie about the shrimp and vietnam OK?!

Editing: 6 - "Special Effects maketh the man", well actually, NO they don't, a movie so effects laden it was the equivelent of dangleing your schlong out the car window just to prove how big it is, only to have a passing car of women pull out a magnifying glass and tell you someone really should look at that, because in-grown hairs can get infected. There is no doubt in my mind that when it comes to creating an atmosphere you have the biggest ... "talent" ... I have seen for a while, it is just a shame that much like "The Matrix 2 & 3" you forfeited the story in search of ever grander special effects.

Genre/Actor Fit: 7 - I was horrified, but mainly because I felt I was staring into the last dying breaths of my life, as my lungs decided they would stop working until the movie was over, thankfully, mercifully you ended it and my fears of imminent death by spontaneous asphyxiation were alleviated, that said it made watching this movie far more interesting and slightly more enjoyable having something to really be afraid of...

WOW/Yawn Factor: 6 - My love of this movie is equal to my love of a George Bush speech, you just know you are going to be laughing at everything that comes up, but then you realise that the man that just said "most of our imports come from abroad" is infact sitting on the largest nuclear arsenal the world has ever seen, at which point mild dread and a light sweat breaks out, as you really do hope that he doesn't get the big red button confused with his game of "Whack A Mole" which folds out of his desk to keep him occupied whilst Haliburton check the share price increase since he came into power.


Overall: 30 - 2* - well done, you are possibly the worst good movie maker i have ever come across, go home have a beer, and never ever come back, for the love of all thing TMO, we can do without this mediocre crap. You should be ashamed of yourself, boasting it was going to "scare" me, ha, pitiful attempts at scaring, the mear thought of your movie is enough to make me break out in a cold sweat but that is because of the same reason that chinese bamboo torture makes me break out in a cold sweat, I genuinely fear for my life, kind of like my eyes are going to leave my body, pick up my pen knife and start trying to sever my head from my body with the small saw attachment.

- 02PARSIM

Critics Center Review

Okay i have got to say that this review will most probably be useless in terms of going into much detail, i have watched your movie and decided for the viewers sake to not give away any plot details whatsoever, this movie must be watched without them knowing barely anything, much like i did when i first saw this movie. Well to put it bluntly this horror movie scared me, i have said in numerous horror reviews that they freaked me out. But there is a difference between being creeped out and being genuinely anxious about what is coming. I will go more in depth in a second though, there was one flaw to this movie which i too will mention a bit later on.

Right then back to the horrifcness of it all. Well the atmosphere was brilliant, as a lover and creator of horror movies on TMO i was really impressed by what you did. You burst out of the boundaries of the game and delivered a chilling movie. The musci score and quick cuts amiplified this. I will also confessed a jumped a few times, a first on TMO. The sound effects were also played upong greatly, i am believer that people are more scared by what they don't see, this is the reason why movies like Halloween and Alien are so damn freaky. The same can be said with this movie, sure you don't see all too much, but by god the sounds and atmosphere make you scared. The VO's were also pitch perfect, but the one that stood out most was Postmodernchuck. You mentioned earlier on his voice was creepy, well he's terrific in this movie, genuinely creepy.

Okay then the bad point i mentioned, well actually its pretty mniscule, basically i just fealt the movie was all that original. It has been done before plotwise. That's my moan, sure its been done before but you have crafted something scary out of it, and that in itself is an achievement.

Overall one of the best if not the very best horror i have ever seen on TMO. Very well done.

- Ninette1

This truely is a horror classic. The timing and storytelling here is top notch. I think you have an innate talent for screen writing. I was a little shaken after watching the movie and believe me that never happens, until now that is. Great idea, great story and all around fabulous movie. You are a talented young man. Keep up the good work and hope you let us know when your Studio releases new movies as I am now a fan. Bookmarked.

~

- KeViNp

Oh boy where to start.

Editing for thsi movie could have been better but the effects and music were great. You used a wide variety of characters which is good. The plot was probobly the best. I've never seen a movie end this way before nor have I seen a movie with a plot as such. But it was a nice twist at the end and it got me to jump!

- postmodernchuck

This movie made me realize something. Everytime I say "All right" in my VO work, I say it like, "Aaaaaaall right." I must have watched Ace Ventura too much as a kid.

Anyway.

This movie uses light, special effects, and sound design to its advantage, utilizing the essentials of movie-making to the nth degree in order to propel the narrative and actually cause a chain reaction of jerkings-jumpings-screamings-etc. Yes, you pushed the game to the limits, making this actually, well, horrifying. I jumped. What the story lacks in originality, it makes up in effectiveness. So great job. The dream sequences were also a joy to watch.

There are, however, some minor glitches tossed about in there. The editing gets a little crazy at times and you could have probably done with some more background music and transitional shots.

For some reason, I also found Ember's mother an enjoyably hilarious character! I loved the part where she talks about having hallucinations all the time. Pffft! :)

- Gabriel_James

Ok I have only One Word. WOW!!! I am probally one of the hardest critics when it comes to horror. I have a love for this type of movie. So here it gose. I have rarelly come across a movie here that has the shock value that you had in this. I jumped out of my seat even when I knew it was time for the shock. Wow that is incrediable. I have watched this story before, lets face it, its a pain to come up with a new idea when you do horror. Most have already been done, but you have taken this story and though great use of cammar shot and good use of....Man ok I can ramble on the bottum line is this. This Film is sure to make no. 1 on the horror chart and I hope to see it climb high in the overall charts as well. Great HORROR isnt made it takes on a life of it own and yours surelly has done that.

- Idoj_Ollipop

A great film, five stars all the way. The film gave me goose bumps and i screamed twice! The editing could have been a bit better, but overall a horror movie at its best :)

- MC-Screwdriver

Jeez that was awsome, i actually jumped for the first time watching a movie on TMO. Your VO's were wonderful, the story was great. So i had no choice 5 stars!